Googled “how to pull out your own tooth” and all the top responses are like “here’s why you shouldn’t pull out your own tooth” and that’s simply not what I asked
this is because of all these dental offices hiring people to write SEO articles that bump to the top of google, in 2003 I could have googled this and gotten to a neon blue geocities called Jim’s Teeth DYI written in comic sans by one guy on his lunch break and when I went to go click on the blog post “best pliers for getting those suckers out” my mouse would have left sparkles in its wake
I miss when everyone on my dash listened to Welcome to Night Vale so there’s be a good chance that on any ole day someone would reblog a quote that would grab me by the throat and forcibly ascend me to a higher plane where I understood myself and the universe better and with more kindness but also a little spook
“The past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first and settles in as the gentle present” are you kidding me this quote has propelled me through at least three emotional crises
“The desert seems vast, even endless. And yet scientists tell us that somewhere, even now, there is snow.” That quote literally got me through grieving my brother like WTNV goes HARD
A List of Some of My Favorite Quotes From This Insane Podcast:
“You are beautiful when you do beautiful things.”
“The present tense of regret is indecision.”
“We understand so much, but the sky behind those lights– mostly void, partially stars– that sky reminds us we don’t understand even more.”
“Be proud of your place in the Cosmos. It is small and yet it is.”
“Believe in yourself. You are an ancient, absent god, discussed only rarely by literary scholars. So if you don’t believe, no one will.”
“Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you.”
“Whisper a dangerous secret to someone you care about. Now they have the power to destroy you, but they won’t. That’s what love is.”
“Are we living a life that is safe from harm? Of course not. We never are. But that’s not the right question. The question is are we living a life that is worth the harm?”
“When we talk about teenagers, we adults often talk with an air of scorn, of expectation for disappointment. And this can make people who are presently teenagers feel very defensive. But what everyone should understand is that none of us are talking to the teenagers that exist now, but talking back to the teenager we ourselves once were – all stupid mistakes and lack of fear, and bodies that hadn’t yet begun to slump into a lasting nothing. Any teenager who exists now is incidental to the potent mix of nostalgia and shame with which we speak to our younger selves.”
“We are not history yet. We are happening now. How miraculous is that?”
“Wednesday has been cancelled due to a scheduling error.”
“We have nothing to fear except ourselves. We are unholy, awful people.”
“A million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? A basilisk.”
“There’s nothing under your bed. There’s nothing in your closet. Nothing waits in every darkness. Nothing is the most terrifying thing of all.”
“The night sky is ten miles wide, eight miles deep, and floats three miles up. Its favourite food is grape jelly. It wants to be a drummer.”
“Look to the sky. You will not find answers there, but you will certainly see what everyone is screaming about.”
“Ignorance might not actually be bliss, but it is certainly less work.”
“And now, a special report. Crocodiles: Can they eat your children? *YES.*”
“Lie down and look up at the ceiling and breathe with those curiously fragile lungs of yours and remind yourself: Don’t worry. Don’t worry. All is as it was meant to be. It was meant to be lonely and terrifying and unfair and fleeting. Don’t worry.”
“As long as I’m reminding myself things, I’m a good person, worthy of love – both from myself and others.”
“Guns don’t kill people! It’s impossible to be killed by a gun. We are all invincible to bullets and it’s a miracle!”
“Everything is exciting! Particularly existence. Existence is the most thrilling fact of all.”
“There is a monster under your bed. A monster at your window. A monster any place you imagine one. You project your monsters on the world.”
“You miss 100% of the bank robberies you don’t commit.”
“I like my coffee like I like my nights. Dark, endless, and impossible to sleep through. ”
“A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Night Vale.”
“And now, the weather.”
I discovered this podcast at the beginning of high school, and let me tell you, it rewired my synapses.
Not only was it my first experience with positive LGBT representation, it was the show I clung to when everything else went to shit. Whatever was going on in my life, I knew I had this show in my corner, making me laugh, making me cry, making me feel okay about my place in the universe.
I owe the creators of this podcast more than I could express.
“the lights over the Arby’s” is such an intrinsically queer piece of writing that it hits me *hard* every time.
One day you’re the awkward teen avoiding relatives at dinner and next day you’re the relative that the new awkward teens are avoiding at dinner and your heart yearns to know them but you know that they do not wish to know you because they are finding and discovering themselves away from peering adult eyes and you, against your will, have become the thing that they do not wish to be observed by and you miss when they were small, not because you don’t want them to grow up, but because that is when they spoke to you and were happy doing so. Because they did not shy away when you said that you loved them and because they seemed so happy and you know now that the weight of knowledge of the wide world is starting to set in and they don’t quite know what to do with the wide world or their newly adult brains and they certainly don’t want to be judged for their teenageness, so they retreat away from you and whisper to each other and stare at something in a book or on their phones or in their pockets and you wonder what pain and joy they are hiding from you that previously they wouldn’t have, and somehow the most heartbreaking thing of all is that you know that someday the same thing will happen to them that is happening to you right now. And you wonder how many billions of humans have survived this cycle of not exactly heartbreak, but tiny heart fractures. Hairline cracks that barely leak. Realizing that they have become the danger to avoid even if they didn’t intend to, and bathing in the sorrow and joy that comes with the uncontrollable passage of time. It happens so quickly that it’s frightening. In less than two or three years. And you are left wondering what tiny sorrows you are currently inflicting upon those who love you that you won’t know about until years down the line. You wonder what you’ve forgotten. What the adolescents know that you don’t. What you know that they don’t. And all of these thoughts go through your head in less than one second as your teenage cousin leaves the room during dinner, and you sigh a little bit.
I feel sorry for the old man, but it was stealing. There is no apparently about it. Water is not free, it’s not a right to have it, and people pay must pay for it. If a government gives a thing to you like utilities, its still not free because they take it from somewhere else, like in taxes.
my friend visiting my house: hey i’m thirsty can i get a glass of water
Protip for if you’re alone and find yourself getting jumpy because ‘oh shit this feels like the start of a scene from a horror movie’:
Do something that a director of a horror movie would never put in a final cut. Pull sudden and inexplicable stupid faces. Make up a ridiculous shuffle-dance. Sing that song with the weirdest lyrics you know, loudly and as off-key as possible. Be completely unphotogenic and uncinematic, and it counteracts the irrational fear quite nicely.
Pretend you’re in the blooper reel of a horror movie
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no but for real . Gangnam style call me maybe riptide we are young . lana releases her first album and changed pop forever . Frank ocean releases his first album . 1D premieres . grimes releases genesis . and the movies. don’t even get me started. the first avengers movie the last twilight movie hunger games the hobbit les mis. like them or hate them they were cultural phenomenons. minecraft was at its peak before it was deemed cringe and before the minecraft renaissance. 2012 was one of the last good years of youtube too . and everyone was rlly into moustaches for whatever reason
you know what’s funny. discord started as a gaming app. like it was so you could do voice calls during games. now it’s the home to hundreds of microcommunities’ drama the likes of which you have never seen
the impulse to hide what I’m doing at my computer still sits so deep even tho I’m literally never looking at anything objectionable , the door will open and I’ll hurry to close the page like oh fuck no one can know I’m looking at the Wikipedia page for the Balkans
Gonna start random discourse now. Living in a two-story house is elitist. Moving to a foreign country is cultural appropriation. And stop saying something is “easy”, you are slutshaming the task
Anyone gonna mention how this guy actually preformed live with Carly Rae Jepsen?
I’m gonna scream is2g
I was thinking of reblogging this again just because the original video is still amazing, but then I see the second video and lost my mind. The upgraded fan, the body glitter, the sheer fact that he got to do this with the actual singer.
i dont care how corny iris by the goo goo dolls is bc i love iris by the goo goo dolls and i will continue screaming iris by the goo goo dolls from the top of my lungs every time i hear iris by the goo goo dolls for the rest of my miserable life
I’m gonna look this up. And if the US got a new state today, and I found out on tumblr, I’m gonna go outside and scream.
HOLY FUCK Washington DC is gonna be a state. Imma go outside and scream now.
it’s not passed through in the senate yet (as of 4/22/21), but the house passed a bill to make it a state. the importance of this is huge, both because it’s super blue, but also because it deserves representation for it’s nearly 700,000 residents
